How did we come up with Armenia?!?

As Tamara mentioned, once we had laid out the myriad options for international adoption, we began to whittle down the list based on what we knew of the various countries, and our own limitations.  We know that we want an infant, gender isn't a deciding factor, cost is a concern to some extent, and the wait time is a concern.  We are also aware of our own limitations due to our current job situations, so extended in-country stays are difficult. 

Here's a little more information on the international process.  Some countries have very long wait times - some exceeding 3-5 years - so we chose to eliminate them.  Some have requirements that were unacceptable to us.  Morocco, for example, requires you to be or convert to Islam in order to adopt.  Some countries would only adopt older children.  Some had difficult procedural requirements that we couldn't deal with.  Some, like Colombia, had long in-country stays that we can't do with our current jobs.


There is another factor to discuss, but I'm not quite sure how to address it correctly.  One of the more difficult decisions we faced with regard to adoption was about children with moderate or severe physical or mental handicaps.  This was a difficult, heart-wrenching aspect of the decision process for me.  Human nature leads us to desire for our children to be fully healthy, and developmentally "normal".  When adopting, this desire takes a brighter spotlight, as you have much more control in the matter.

When it comes to adoption, there is a tremendous need for prospective parents to adopt special needs children.  Speaking from a purely economical standpoint, countries offer shorter wait times, lower administrative costs, and other incentives to help parents who are willing to make this commitment.  Even so, because of the added complexities of adopting special needs children, there are far too few who are willing to make this step.

I can't speak for Tamara, but I really struggled with this choice.  With so many children in need all over the world, could I really be so conceited as to "pick and choose" a healthy baby over so many others who needed a stable home?  Would I even be capable of raising a special needs child?  Am I a bad person for taking the easier route?

In the end, through much prayer, and an honest assessment of my abilities, availability, and our family dynamic, we were led to choose a healthy baby.  After the decision, I have a profound respect and gratitude for those who choose the other path.  As for us, however, we really felt that we were not called in that direction.

So after we had gathered all of the information, research, and discussion, and been through all the prayer, hair pulling, and trepidation, we narrowed our list to about 4 - 6 countries.  Armenia was actually one of the last countries we added to the list.  And one night, while looking at information for what seemed like the 50th time, Tamara said to me, I really feel like we're supposed to adopt from Armenia.  At the time, I hadn't really felt drawn to any of the countries, so I said okay and started to do more research.

The Armenian program is a very small operation compared to some, with only 3 or 4 agencies working in country and a low number of children adopted annually.  The wait time was short, and healthy children 6-9 months old were available.  The in-country requirements were acceptable and the cost was moderate compared to other countries and agencies.  So it met all of the "technical" requirements.

But then I started researching the country itself.  I saw a proud, independent people with a rich cultural history.  I recognized a deep spiritual history of Christianity that endured and survived Soviet rule.  I saw a beautiful country that has been ravaged by very difficult natural disasters and economic poverty. 

I may be reaching here, but I actually see some beautiful parallels to the Scottish people.  Photos of the Armenian highlands strike me as very similar to those in Scotland.  The depth and history of Christian influence is easily recognized.  The people are proud of their unique cultural heritage.  They've fought against the influence and impact of larger nations who wished to envelop them.  And through it all, they've always fought on with an indomitable spirit and courage regardless of their situation.

I look forward to continuing to learn more about the people and country.  But I already know this much.  I feel like we've made the right choice for our family, for our future, and for the child we'll eventually be bringing home.  And so, if it's not Scottish, it's Armenian.

So Many Decisions

Once we had decided that we were ready to start the adoption process, then we had lots of decisions to make.  Do we adopt internationally or domestically, if internationally - from what country, what age, how many, boy or girl, which agency to go through, etc.  We were so overwhelmed by all the choices and decisions that it was almost paralyzing.  My first thought was that we could adopt a child from Scotland, since we are so interested and involved in Scottish heritage.  After some online research, we discovered that children from most developed countries are not available for adoption outside of their own country.  Just like American children are not given to adoptive parents from other countries, Scottish children are not adopted to non-Scottish parents. 
We also considered domestic adoption.  I spoke with several agencies about domestic adoption and the process just didn't seem like one we would be interested in.  Not to say that domestic adoption isn't absolutely great for some people.  But for us, the fact that we would be paying for expenses for the pregnant mother (medical, clothing, housing, food) during her pregnancy with the chance that she could decide up to 48 hours after delivery to keep the child was a chance we weren't willing to take.  I asked my friends who have children in high school if there were any girls in their schools who were pregnant and wanted to give their child up for adoption, but I got nowhere with that approach.  We even looked at the foster to adopt option.  For this, most of the children are older and sibling groups are the most common option.  Keith and I both agreed that for now, we were really only interested in infants and a sibling group would be quite a challenge for two parents who don't have much experience with children (I am an only child and Keith has one half-sister). 
The last option was international adoption.  But from where would we adopt?  In doing online research, there were so many options.  China, Colombia, Ethiopia, Russia, Rwanda, Ukraine, Mexico, Honduras, Thailand, etc., etc.  Where would we even start to look?  Some wonderful friends of ours had just adopted twin boys from Ethiopia and I had a great opportunity to visit with them in New Mexico several weeks after they brought the boys home.  I had never really even considered Ethiopia before, let alone twins, but after being around them for several hours, I realized that they really weren't that different from any other kids I had been around.  I started to think to myself "I really CAN do this."  The reason that they had adopted from Ethiopia was because they have a family member who married an Ethiopian man.  They felt like by adopting a child (or two in their case) from Ethiopia, they would already have someone in their family that the child could relate to and who could share aspects of their culture.  That got us to thinking about adopting from Colombia.  Keith's aunt is from Colombia and we were thinking that it would be great to have her be able to teach our child about his or her Colombian heritage.  So we started looking into the Colombian adoption process.  Our great idea hit a snag when we realized that adoption from Colombia requires at least a one month consecutive stay in the country.  Neither Keith nor I have jobs that would allow us to be gone that long from work. 
So we started looking at other countries.  I got names of adoption agencies (Gladney, Hopscotch, Children's Hope International, Adoption Related Services, etc.) from friends who had adopted and we started looking at their websites and requesting information packages from them. 

Next... why we ended up with Armenia.