It's been a hectic few weeks since we sat through the home study interview. We spent a weekend in Dallas for Thanksgiving, went to Big Bend National Park in SW Texas, and spent the past week playing catchup at home and work from back to back four day weekends. Now we need to buckle down and get moving again.
The interview itself was fairly probing, but actually was less difficult than we had imagined. The social worker was friendly, and we made it through generally unscathed. Due to delays caused by the holiday weekend, the study is not quite approved yet, but is going back and forth for final corrections / additions. It should be complete within the next week.
After the interview, we had a phone conference with our adoption agency to discuss our next steps. This may come as a huge surprise to you, but the next two parts of our preparation are paperwork and paperwork. We need to put together the I-800A form (Petition to Adopt), and prepare our dossier for the Armenian government. There is a lot of gathering of existing documents still to be done - we need certified copies of birth certificates, marriage licenses, and the like - and everything needs to be certified. As an added bonus, everything for the dossier also needs to be "appostilled", which essentially means that we have to certify the certification.
We've already begun ordering some of the necessary documents, and hope to have everything done around the first of the year. Hopefully we'll have more to report soon. We thank you all for your support and continued prayers. God Bless.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
The Home Study Looms Overhead
We FINALLY finished our online adoption training, all the paperwork for the home study, and got our house to a point that we feel comfortable having someone come scrutinize it. In other words, we're ready for the home study. Our social worker, Candace, will be coming to our house tomorrow to give our house the white glove treatment, grill us with questions, and make us feel like we must be crazy for wanting to adopt. Well, ok...maybe that's not really what she's going to do. But it sometimes feels that way. Luckily our friends Logan and Leslie are in town visiting and since they've been through the adoption process, they've been able to help ease our fears about what tomorrow will bring. We know that she will be looking at our house, not from a cleanliness standpoint, but from a space standpoint (i.e. do we have enough space for a child so that we wouldn't have to keep them in a closet). She will also be interviewing us together and separately (I suppose to ensure that one of us doesn't think the other is a mass murderer). And generally making sure that we are as prepared as we can be to continue with the adoption process. We'll post more after the home study has been completed, but I did want to do a quick update for everyone so that you can be praying for us tonight and tomorrow.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
How did we come up with Armenia?!?
As Tamara mentioned, once we had laid out the myriad options for international adoption, we began to whittle down the list based on what we knew of the various countries, and our own limitations. We know that we want an infant, gender isn't a deciding factor, cost is a concern to some extent, and the wait time is a concern. We are also aware of our own limitations due to our current job situations, so extended in-country stays are difficult.
Here's a little more information on the international process. Some countries have very long wait times - some exceeding 3-5 years - so we chose to eliminate them. Some have requirements that were unacceptable to us. Morocco, for example, requires you to be or convert to Islam in order to adopt. Some countries would only adopt older children. Some had difficult procedural requirements that we couldn't deal with. Some, like Colombia, had long in-country stays that we can't do with our current jobs.
There is another factor to discuss, but I'm not quite sure how to address it correctly. One of the more difficult decisions we faced with regard to adoption was about children with moderate or severe physical or mental handicaps. This was a difficult, heart-wrenching aspect of the decision process for me. Human nature leads us to desire for our children to be fully healthy, and developmentally "normal". When adopting, this desire takes a brighter spotlight, as you have much more control in the matter.
When it comes to adoption, there is a tremendous need for prospective parents to adopt special needs children. Speaking from a purely economical standpoint, countries offer shorter wait times, lower administrative costs, and other incentives to help parents who are willing to make this commitment. Even so, because of the added complexities of adopting special needs children, there are far too few who are willing to make this step.
I can't speak for Tamara, but I really struggled with this choice. With so many children in need all over the world, could I really be so conceited as to "pick and choose" a healthy baby over so many others who needed a stable home? Would I even be capable of raising a special needs child? Am I a bad person for taking the easier route?
In the end, through much prayer, and an honest assessment of my abilities, availability, and our family dynamic, we were led to choose a healthy baby. After the decision, I have a profound respect and gratitude for those who choose the other path. As for us, however, we really felt that we were not called in that direction.
So after we had gathered all of the information, research, and discussion, and been through all the prayer, hair pulling, and trepidation, we narrowed our list to about 4 - 6 countries. Armenia was actually one of the last countries we added to the list. And one night, while looking at information for what seemed like the 50th time, Tamara said to me, I really feel like we're supposed to adopt from Armenia. At the time, I hadn't really felt drawn to any of the countries, so I said okay and started to do more research.
The Armenian program is a very small operation compared to some, with only 3 or 4 agencies working in country and a low number of children adopted annually. The wait time was short, and healthy children 6-9 months old were available. The in-country requirements were acceptable and the cost was moderate compared to other countries and agencies. So it met all of the "technical" requirements.
But then I started researching the country itself. I saw a proud, independent people with a rich cultural history. I recognized a deep spiritual history of Christianity that endured and survived Soviet rule. I saw a beautiful country that has been ravaged by very difficult natural disasters and economic poverty.
I may be reaching here, but I actually see some beautiful parallels to the Scottish people. Photos of the Armenian highlands strike me as very similar to those in Scotland. The depth and history of Christian influence is easily recognized. The people are proud of their unique cultural heritage. They've fought against the influence and impact of larger nations who wished to envelop them. And through it all, they've always fought on with an indomitable spirit and courage regardless of their situation.
I look forward to continuing to learn more about the people and country. But I already know this much. I feel like we've made the right choice for our family, for our future, and for the child we'll eventually be bringing home. And so, if it's not Scottish, it's Armenian.
Here's a little more information on the international process. Some countries have very long wait times - some exceeding 3-5 years - so we chose to eliminate them. Some have requirements that were unacceptable to us. Morocco, for example, requires you to be or convert to Islam in order to adopt. Some countries would only adopt older children. Some had difficult procedural requirements that we couldn't deal with. Some, like Colombia, had long in-country stays that we can't do with our current jobs.
There is another factor to discuss, but I'm not quite sure how to address it correctly. One of the more difficult decisions we faced with regard to adoption was about children with moderate or severe physical or mental handicaps. This was a difficult, heart-wrenching aspect of the decision process for me. Human nature leads us to desire for our children to be fully healthy, and developmentally "normal". When adopting, this desire takes a brighter spotlight, as you have much more control in the matter.
When it comes to adoption, there is a tremendous need for prospective parents to adopt special needs children. Speaking from a purely economical standpoint, countries offer shorter wait times, lower administrative costs, and other incentives to help parents who are willing to make this commitment. Even so, because of the added complexities of adopting special needs children, there are far too few who are willing to make this step.
I can't speak for Tamara, but I really struggled with this choice. With so many children in need all over the world, could I really be so conceited as to "pick and choose" a healthy baby over so many others who needed a stable home? Would I even be capable of raising a special needs child? Am I a bad person for taking the easier route?
In the end, through much prayer, and an honest assessment of my abilities, availability, and our family dynamic, we were led to choose a healthy baby. After the decision, I have a profound respect and gratitude for those who choose the other path. As for us, however, we really felt that we were not called in that direction.
So after we had gathered all of the information, research, and discussion, and been through all the prayer, hair pulling, and trepidation, we narrowed our list to about 4 - 6 countries. Armenia was actually one of the last countries we added to the list. And one night, while looking at information for what seemed like the 50th time, Tamara said to me, I really feel like we're supposed to adopt from Armenia. At the time, I hadn't really felt drawn to any of the countries, so I said okay and started to do more research.
The Armenian program is a very small operation compared to some, with only 3 or 4 agencies working in country and a low number of children adopted annually. The wait time was short, and healthy children 6-9 months old were available. The in-country requirements were acceptable and the cost was moderate compared to other countries and agencies. So it met all of the "technical" requirements.
But then I started researching the country itself. I saw a proud, independent people with a rich cultural history. I recognized a deep spiritual history of Christianity that endured and survived Soviet rule. I saw a beautiful country that has been ravaged by very difficult natural disasters and economic poverty.
I may be reaching here, but I actually see some beautiful parallels to the Scottish people. Photos of the Armenian highlands strike me as very similar to those in Scotland. The depth and history of Christian influence is easily recognized. The people are proud of their unique cultural heritage. They've fought against the influence and impact of larger nations who wished to envelop them. And through it all, they've always fought on with an indomitable spirit and courage regardless of their situation.
I look forward to continuing to learn more about the people and country. But I already know this much. I feel like we've made the right choice for our family, for our future, and for the child we'll eventually be bringing home. And so, if it's not Scottish, it's Armenian.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
So Many Decisions
Once we had decided that we were ready to start the adoption process, then we had lots of decisions to make. Do we adopt internationally or domestically, if internationally - from what country, what age, how many, boy or girl, which agency to go through, etc. We were so overwhelmed by all the choices and decisions that it was almost paralyzing. My first thought was that we could adopt a child from Scotland, since we are so interested and involved in Scottish heritage. After some online research, we discovered that children from most developed countries are not available for adoption outside of their own country. Just like American children are not given to adoptive parents from other countries, Scottish children are not adopted to non-Scottish parents.
We also considered domestic adoption. I spoke with several agencies about domestic adoption and the process just didn't seem like one we would be interested in. Not to say that domestic adoption isn't absolutely great for some people. But for us, the fact that we would be paying for expenses for the pregnant mother (medical, clothing, housing, food) during her pregnancy with the chance that she could decide up to 48 hours after delivery to keep the child was a chance we weren't willing to take. I asked my friends who have children in high school if there were any girls in their schools who were pregnant and wanted to give their child up for adoption, but I got nowhere with that approach. We even looked at the foster to adopt option. For this, most of the children are older and sibling groups are the most common option. Keith and I both agreed that for now, we were really only interested in infants and a sibling group would be quite a challenge for two parents who don't have much experience with children (I am an only child and Keith has one half-sister).
The last option was international adoption. But from where would we adopt? In doing online research, there were so many options. China, Colombia, Ethiopia, Russia, Rwanda, Ukraine, Mexico, Honduras, Thailand, etc., etc. Where would we even start to look? Some wonderful friends of ours had just adopted twin boys from Ethiopia and I had a great opportunity to visit with them in New Mexico several weeks after they brought the boys home. I had never really even considered Ethiopia before, let alone twins, but after being around them for several hours, I realized that they really weren't that different from any other kids I had been around. I started to think to myself "I really CAN do this." The reason that they had adopted from Ethiopia was because they have a family member who married an Ethiopian man. They felt like by adopting a child (or two in their case) from Ethiopia, they would already have someone in their family that the child could relate to and who could share aspects of their culture. That got us to thinking about adopting from Colombia. Keith's aunt is from Colombia and we were thinking that it would be great to have her be able to teach our child about his or her Colombian heritage. So we started looking into the Colombian adoption process. Our great idea hit a snag when we realized that adoption from Colombia requires at least a one month consecutive stay in the country. Neither Keith nor I have jobs that would allow us to be gone that long from work.
So we started looking at other countries. I got names of adoption agencies (Gladney, Hopscotch, Children's Hope International, Adoption Related Services, etc.) from friends who had adopted and we started looking at their websites and requesting information packages from them.
Next... why we ended up with Armenia.
We also considered domestic adoption. I spoke with several agencies about domestic adoption and the process just didn't seem like one we would be interested in. Not to say that domestic adoption isn't absolutely great for some people. But for us, the fact that we would be paying for expenses for the pregnant mother (medical, clothing, housing, food) during her pregnancy with the chance that she could decide up to 48 hours after delivery to keep the child was a chance we weren't willing to take. I asked my friends who have children in high school if there were any girls in their schools who were pregnant and wanted to give their child up for adoption, but I got nowhere with that approach. We even looked at the foster to adopt option. For this, most of the children are older and sibling groups are the most common option. Keith and I both agreed that for now, we were really only interested in infants and a sibling group would be quite a challenge for two parents who don't have much experience with children (I am an only child and Keith has one half-sister).
The last option was international adoption. But from where would we adopt? In doing online research, there were so many options. China, Colombia, Ethiopia, Russia, Rwanda, Ukraine, Mexico, Honduras, Thailand, etc., etc. Where would we even start to look? Some wonderful friends of ours had just adopted twin boys from Ethiopia and I had a great opportunity to visit with them in New Mexico several weeks after they brought the boys home. I had never really even considered Ethiopia before, let alone twins, but after being around them for several hours, I realized that they really weren't that different from any other kids I had been around. I started to think to myself "I really CAN do this." The reason that they had adopted from Ethiopia was because they have a family member who married an Ethiopian man. They felt like by adopting a child (or two in their case) from Ethiopia, they would already have someone in their family that the child could relate to and who could share aspects of their culture. That got us to thinking about adopting from Colombia. Keith's aunt is from Colombia and we were thinking that it would be great to have her be able to teach our child about his or her Colombian heritage. So we started looking into the Colombian adoption process. Our great idea hit a snag when we realized that adoption from Colombia requires at least a one month consecutive stay in the country. Neither Keith nor I have jobs that would allow us to be gone that long from work.
So we started looking at other countries. I got names of adoption agencies (Gladney, Hopscotch, Children's Hope International, Adoption Related Services, etc.) from friends who had adopted and we started looking at their websites and requesting information packages from them.
Next... why we ended up with Armenia.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Why adoption?
Welcome to our blog. We decided to chronicle our adoption process for friends, family, and anyone who has ever been curious about adoption. When we first started on this journey, it was so overwhelming that we didn't quite know where to start. We're hoping we can offer help to others who might be in the same situation we were in. I don't promise that this will be updated every day, or even every week, but we will try to post as we hit milestones in the process. We intend for this blog to be very honest and forthright about our experiences so that our readers can be educated about the ups, downs, ins, and outs of the adoption process.
So the question remains...why adoption? Keith and I tried for about a year to have our own biological child. After no success, we went through testing and the Doctors diagnosed us with "unexplained infertility". As a woman, this was very hard to swallow and here's why. I spent the first 27 years of my life not really wanting children. I knew that Keith did eventually want children, so I asked God to change my heart towards kids. Enter a little boy named Judson. He was the second child born to good friends. I held him just days after he was born and after several months of being around him, Keith and I had totally fallen in love with this child and had decided that we were as ready as we were ever going to be to start our own family. So after God did a 180 on my heart, and after a year of trying, I was crushed to find out that it wasn't in His plan for us to have a child naturally (at least not at this time). And of course all of my friends were getting pregnant at this time, which if you've ever been in that situation, can be very difficult. We went through a couple of rounds of fertility treatment with no success. Finally, after weighing our options, we both agreed that we didn't want to spend a lot of money on additional fertility treatments that may or may not work. We would rather put that money toward adopting a child who needs a forever home.
When I was a kid, I thought that if I ever did decide to have a family, I would be open to the idea of adopting a child. Prior to our decision to adopt, several of our friends went through the process, which made it a little less scary. And since our decision to adopt, I've had several other friends and acquaintances start the adoption and foster to adopt process. It has been great to have these friends as resources and I truly hope that we can be a resource for others who may be interested in adoption. After Keith and I began to look into adoption, we felt that God was giving us multiple signs that we were moving forward in accordance with His will. Upcoming posts will focus on how we filtered through all the initial information about adoption and how we chose Armenia.
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